Joyfull Living

The week of June 9 - June 17, 1989 is a week forever etched in my story. It is where I experienced my greatest loss as well as the greatest gain in my life. Looking back even now, 34 years later, the variance of emotions from mourning to hope in the span of a few days still astounds me. But it is a story of God's grace that alone can bring tragedy to triumph.  The circumstances surrounded 2 of the most powerful influences in my life - my father and my husband. June 9, my father was tragically killed. Although I never doubted for a moment of his love for me, my father made some devastating life choices that brought painful consequences to his family. He gave me a lifetime of fatherly advice, but set an example before me of a path I would take great strides to avoid. Choosing a lifestyle of sin and darkness can quickly escalate and overtake ones life. Priorities, habits, relationships can be left behind to follow the irresistible call of addiction. As Father's Day weekend is appr...

 There is something so pure and beautiful about a wedding. Everything is new, crisp, clean and at its best. The bride's dress has been purposefully chosen, correctly sized and finally able to be revealed in all its glory. The groom looks dashing in his tux, the attendants coordinate and everyone has hair and make up applied so they look their absolute best.  Once the wedding ceremony has passed, true life begins. There is beauty in newness, a new home, new priorities, the freshness of the newlywed season. Eventually, all the newness rubs off and who we are and who we married becomes our reality! During this critical point, our vows and covenant to love one another hold us accountable to continue to build a life together.  But as the newness wears off and the commitment takes hold, something beautiful happens. Our lives are now well merged into one, our daily plans and schedule are made with consideration of our mate. We have a soul mate who knows us better than anyone els...

When fall is in full swing, you have a little time off from work, the empty nest affords more freedom and the mountains call you name.....you simply GO! A spur of the moment trip to the mountains turned out to be one of the best trips we have taken.  Usually our mountain trips are efficiently planned out, the dates set in advance, a cabin reserved with the location and destinations in mind.  This trip, we saw we had some available time and simply headed north! Our first stop was to visit some dear friends who were vacationing that week. The next day we continued our drive still unclear on where we would land.  Here is our first stop, the quaint town of Helen, Georgia. Through the years we have made many visits to the mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee. We have visited a variety of locations, hiked many trails, drove many miles simply gazing at the beauty found there.  Cherished memories have been made with our children and family.  This trip we didn't do ...

What does your husband want for Christmas? I used to envy those who could answer that question right off the bat. For years I agonized over the right gift. Some of the things I love about my sweet hubby is that he is strong, has a determined mind, loves to do things right, loves quality and is mainly a perfectionist. *For those wives who love to surprise their hubbies with gifts, it doesn't work for a perfectionist! He is almost a complete opposite of me in the gift department. After many gift giving failures, clothes, hobbies, tools, we came to an agreement to purchase things for ourselves if there is an item we really want and spend some special time together over a dinner out. We're both happy and get exactly what we want!   A recent article shared some gifts for the husband who answers the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "Nothing" . For the man who has everything, here are a few ideas to bless him this Christmas.  Your u...

June, where did you come from and how did you get here so fast?  For the first six months of the year, the newness captures our time.  Once June comes along, we realize the year is half way gone and usually there is much we want to catch up on!   Besides jolting us to the fact of how fast the year is going, June also brings in summer break for school children, family vacations. Armed with the realization of how fast time is going, we yearn to embrace and cherish these moments of time.  In our family, the month of June brings the blessing of our wedding anniversary.  It also brings the anniversary of my father's death. From the extremes of grief to joy, June reminds me of the grace of God that is present in every season of life. This year will mark 28 years of both anniversaries.  The dates of the month this year also correspond to that June 28 years ago.  A few prominent days can be recalled with vivid detail. Tuesday June 6 a wedd...

Several years back, my husband had surgery on his back that entailed a long recovery time.  To assist with the healing he was encouraged to walk daily.  Diligently we got up and out early for a morning walk most every day.  Since then, a walk together is something we enjoy doing together. Of course we have to have different preferences for walking.  I like the city sidewalks and to begin and end with a point of reference.  He prefers country walks along the river and exploring different trails. Trying to be a good sport, I go along with the country walk, with one stipulation...I don't like to walk in the sand!  Keep me on a hard path and not huffing and puffing through branches and underbrush and I'll be fine. Recently there was a trail to the river we had not been to in years.  I knew it would be those conditions I didn't care for, but determined to go and make the best of it!  Here is the sand we got into! Dirt trails, sand...

One of the most important and powerful things a couple can do is to pray for one another.  When things are going well, what a blessing to thank the Lord for.  When challenges come, praying for one another keeps bitterness at bay and restores the love first in the heart, then loving actions flow out. When we want to change them, and nothing works(!), God can do a work in marriages and hearts. This is a powerful investment to pray for our spouse and a New Year is the perfect time to begin.  Here are some sample prayers.  A Prayer for My Husband Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this wonderful gift of a husband, companion and friend. Remind me to celebrate his achievements, and to turn my focus away from his faults. Equip me to be the help meet you have called me to be, and the friend my husband needs me to be. Help me to recognize his efforts, his courage, his strength, and to sing his praises in a way that brings honor to him and to o...

    When we think of marriage, 'growth' usually isn't one thing that comes to mind. Love, patience, passion etc. seem to fit a little better.     For those who have been married a long time, growth may not seem necessary. You would think we know everything about our spouse that we need to!  But in marriage as in life, change is always in effect.  Seasons of life change, desires and goals change and as we grow older, we change and grow.    Growth in a marriage means growing closer.  We may think we are as close to them as we want to be (!!!), but growth means newness, excitement, discovery and freshness  What marriage could not use a dose of that? May we be diligent to grow in our marriage, to know them better, to love them more, to connect with their heart.   Here is a beautiful prayer from "Today's Marriage Prayer" that fits perfectly in this area: Dear Heavenly Father, We pray for a deeper understanding of...

This sweet photo popped up in my Facebook memories.  I smiled as I thought back to the day and moment.  It was the day of my firstborn son's wedding and all of the girls gathered around the beautiful bride to say a prayer.  That day the prayer was one of rejoicing and thankfulness.  God had answered the prayer of both sets of parents when they asked for the perfect mate for their child.  We thanked God for this couple and prayed for a beautiful ceremony and a blessed marriage. This photo was taken 2 years ago and every day I still pray.  Early every morning with a cup of coffee and the Bible close by, I ask God to bless their marriage, to keep their hearts towards Him and to love one another.  This is done while I daily pray for my own 27 year old marriage.  Why keep on praying?  Because after the glitter and glow of love and the years of newness, those two lives merge into one, but it does not happen overnight.  D...

Routines...everyone has them.  They may look different in each life and family.  There are quiet rhythms that bring peace to our souls and there are routines that change day by day that bring life and excitement to each day.   My routines are not set in stone and change often, but when I find one that works, I stick with it.  There is some comfort in familiarity, knowing what is coming up next and being alert to when things fall out of sync.   One place routines can cause a bit of trouble is in our marriages.  As women, we love to feel secure, loved, provided for and cared for.  That may encompass regular routines such as mealtimes, bedtimes, activities etc.  But..marriage is a dynamic thing,  not an achievement, nor an attainment to be put in a trophy cabinet.  Marriage is alive and must be fed and watered. Marriage like faith, are muscles that must be exercised.  They either grow stronger or they ultimately...

  There is just something about the New Year that make us want to be better.  When the slate is clean, such as the beginning of January, that isn't so hard.  But as days turn into weeks and the newness has worn off, it is the goals, dreams and resolutions that mean the most to us that will stand.   Marriage should be an area we want to continually see improve. Of course, that takes time, effort and loads of love!  There should never be a time we stop striving for better.  Most importantly, it is in those little areas where big changes can come.  A beautiful prayer from Marriage Prayers Today shares those everyday struggles and where to turn for overcoming help! Dear Heavenly Father. Love is holding your tongue when you’re angry, and stopping yourself when you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. It’s looking past imperfection to the find the good in your spouse. It’s patience. Love is letting go...

A daily blessing that comes through my email everyday is Today's Marriage Prayer . It is an invitation to draw closer to each other through marriage and closer to God. It's a dare to fight for your marriage. It's a challenge to pray with, and for each other every day.  I have a passion for our home, for making it a haven.  This prayer brought out those beautiful things stored up in my heart as a powerful prayer to God who is able to bring it to pass. Marriage Prayer – Making Our House a Home Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this home and everything in it. It’s comfortable. It’s unique. It’s a place that reflects our personality, unlike any other place on this earth. There’s something about our own bed, our own kitchen, our own couch… that brings comfort to us. It’s a gift that keeps giving day after day. Thank you for the talents and the strengths we each bring to our home. Help us to use them together to wisely take care of our thin...

Sometimes it's the simplest things that mean the most, especially in our relationships.  Here is a cute little acrostic with some easy, but powerful ways to keep the marriage love alive... M - Make every moment count.  It's often easy to take for granted those every day things we do. Notice them and cherish them. A - Affirm your spouse daily. We love him...let's tell him...every day.  Look beyond the familiar, what exactly is it in him we respect?  Let him know. R - Reconcile often with apology and forgiveness. When we're wrong, admit it and move on.  Forgiveness can build up a marriage. R - Respond with respect.  We know him so well...what he's going to say, do and how he will respond. A sarcastic response tears him down and belittles, give a polite response or simply a smile! I - Initiate with courage.  Love lavishly, be bold in expressing love. A - Always love gracefully.  God gives us great grace, it is intended to fill us...

Talk about an oldie but a goodie!!  It's utterly amazing to discover what this lady - Jane Wells (1886) wrote more than a century ago holds true even today. Her four simple rules can take us a long way to enjoy a wonderful married life. Marriage Advice Jane Wells (1886) Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger. Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break. Believe the best rather than the worst. People have a way of living up or down to your opinion of them. Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship. The person you choose to marry is deserving of the courtesies and kindnesses you bestow on your friends.

Marriage....funny how so many are 'married', yet every marriage is different.  A Christian marriage is ordained and blessed by God, yet not exempt from trials, temptations or struggles.  But when faithfulness, perseverance, sacrifice and sometimes plain old hard work come together, we find that love never fails. Here are 10 prayers that every Christian marriage can glean from.  Couples never outgrow needing God's love to fill their homes and lives. No matter how short or long the marriage is, God can come in the midst and make it filled with newness of love and joy.  As November is a month to reflect on our blessings, it is a perfect time to thank God for your marriage.  There is no 'perfect marriage', but we can be thankful that we serve a perfect God who is able to bring His grace into our lives and fill us with His wisdom and love.  Dear Lord, grow our love for You daily. Dear Lord, help us to love each other unconditionally. D...

  A book that was read many years ago popped into my mind.  A sweet friend could use an encouraging word about the struggles that marriage brings sometimes. I found the book and decided to skim through it.  It was covered with highlighted quotes that were pretty powerful!  The chapter that was marked the most was on " A Wife's Role".     Women play a variety of roles but to zoom in on the role we have been given in God's Word, we are to be helpers.  Helper means "to provide what is needed or lacking". Before our minds drift to recalling all that is lacking or why the man in our lives needs us!!, this is a fulfilment of God's call on the husband's life as well as the wife.  When a woman takes an active and supportive position as a wife, she enables her husband to become all God created Him to be and in the process, God accomplishes His purposes and plan for them as a couple. The roles of husband and wife are different and to work, to mov...

      After 26 years of marriage, we could probably be called "an old married couple"!  Although 26 years seemed to fly by, a lot of learning, growing and changing went into that time!  A good marriage doesn't 'just happen'.  Any married couple will tell you it takes work, and a lot of it!    When sweet hubby and I were first married, we faithfully went to church, were surrounded by couples who encouraged us, we had great and not so great family models to watch.  But, it was through a continual learning we grew, we learned what to do, what not to do.  But there are some foundational truths that if learned early, will make the path much more smoother!!  One of my favorite blogs Time Warp Wife recently shared 10 tips for new couples. They are shared with the  hope that they encourage you to love well as you’re growing together in grace.  Choose Your Words Wisely – Whether you’re frustrated or not, it’...

We're talking about marriage... 'what's in it for me?"   As women, when we are looking for a mate, our thoughts might revolve around finding Mr. Right and how he will treat us.  We need love, security, protection and attention.   But, any woman who has been a wife for a little while will quickly realize...it's not about you!!  Although marriage is a give and take between two people, it is a lifelong pursuit to understand that marriage is about the one you married.   A recent article which has been floating around Facebook, shared some of the best marriage advice for those considering marriage. This comes from a father to his son.  ..." I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy . More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family . Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future...

What a beautiful mix of emotions this month brings.  Marriage is definitely first on the mind, as today is our 25 wedding anniversary!!  It doesn't seem possible, I can remember my parents talking about their 25 anniversary!!!  The years have flown by and through the good times and the trying times, God has blessed us mightily and been the source of life for us.  Also, my oldest son is engaged and we are immersed in plans for next month's wedding.  It is fun to be involved in the events going on with them as they prepare to begin their new life together.  Wedding details, new home preparations, bridal showers....I clearly remember the excitement and joy this season of life brings. But in the midst of all that joy, 25 years has taught me that there is more to marriage than the ceremony and a new home. A new life is one where two people merge into one family.  It is a beautiful picture of how the love of Christ fills our hearts and makes ...

    This month my sweet husband and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage!  Although I can honestly say I love him more today than ever, after all these years, it is easy to become comfortable in marriage.  We know each other so well, our likes, dislikes, our reactions to situations etc.  We just 'do life' so well together.   There is certainly nothing wrong with any of that and it wasn't until this special young lady came into our lives that my  marriage outlook perked up.     Young love is so fresh and vibrant, but it is also so much more.  My oldest son will be married soon and it is so sweet watching them together.  They are so thoughtful of each other, love to do things for the other, plan according to the other's plan, purposefully do life to best fit the other person.  They notice and express appreciation for the smallest acts of kindness. Eagerly do things for one another and seek to be the first to s...