Friday Funnies - Just For the Girls...

I recently received an email from a friend to share for today's Friday Funnies. It contains a few things that only the girls will understand!

PREGNANCY Question and Answer:

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You 're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Sometimes We Score, Sometimes We Block

Our family is in the midst of little league soccer season. My youngest son is playing and his enthusiasm is contagious. He is pretty good at the sport, but what makes it so great is that he loves it! He counts the days until the next game or practice. He loves his coach and teammates. He has moved up an age level this year and the players are working more like team, passing to each other and watching out for each other during play. During the last game, my son scored two goals, they were the only goals of the game. In today's game the team scored eight goals. My son came up afterwards to me and said, "I didn't score today, but I blocked". What a powerful truth those words can hold. In life, sometimes we score, sometimes we block. Sometimes we do great things, we excel, we achieve, we meet our goal - we score! There are also times we see the needs of others, sometimes they are sad or hurting, we block their hits. We look out for them so they can score. We...

Paths of Prayer

Today, I'm joining up with Five Minute Friday, a fun writing opportunity to connect and share a quick thought on this week's theme "Path". For many years, when coming across a Scripture about 'paths', it turned into a prayer and desire to be led down God's open paths. Through the years of life which included, marriage, keeping a home, job, raising children and as they began to explore their own paths, seeking God and His paths became a vital part of life and prayer. As God's Word reveals God's goodness and His ways, I want to be walking - living a lifestyle on the paths that He leads. Some of my favorite 'path' verses include: Proverbs 4:18 "But the path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day." Psalm 25:4, "Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths," Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your way...

Construction, Challenges, Chaos

Who knew something simple could erupt into something chaotic so quickly? A broken file cabinet forced us to purchase a new one. We found one online, ordered it and it arrived quickly with a do it yourself assembly book, complete with 24 part packages and 18 steps of instructions! As we unpacked the items and compared with the instruction book, we realized a part was missing. Customer service was called, a replacement part was quickly received. Except, the screws did not fit into the holes on the replacement part. We tried again, received another part, same issue. Meanwhile, the 24 packages of parts are spread out on my living room floor, customer service does not understand my issue, they asked for photos which were sent and now we are again, waiting for a part. It seems every project faces the inevitable delay. My work place is undergoing a floor remodel. Upheaval, dust, packing, lots of inconvenience and depending on the work crew's schedule dictate the next fe...

Joyfull Living

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