Skip to main content

Job Humor

I found this today and thought it was cute enough to share:

These are real examples from real resumes:


*Reasons For Leaving Last Job*

- Responsibility makes me nervous.
- They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions.
- Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches..
- I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
- The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers.


*Job Responsibilities*

- While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility.
- I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.


*Special Requests and Job Objectives*

- Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
- I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant.


*Physical Disabilities*

- Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep.


*Personal Interests*

- Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.


*Small Typos That Can Change the Meaning*

- Education: College, August 1880-May 1984.
- Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.
- Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
- I'm a rabid typist.
- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.
Labels:

Comments

  1. Simply Heart And HomeMay 1, 2008 at 8:59 PM

    Those are really cute! I can imagine that the employers didn't think they were all that funny though! :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thank you for sharing your commment. It is a joy and blessing to hear from you and your words are appreciated.

Popular posts from this blog

Top 10 Workout DVDs

Prevention Magazine is a leader in health and fitness news and products. They recently came up with the top 10 list of workout DVDs. They have examined the many fitness DVDs out there and narrowed down a list of the best ones. There is a DVD for every fitness level. If you are looking to incorporate some exercise into your day in the convenience of your own home, take a look at this list. Here is an additional money saving tip:  If you see a DVD that you are interested in, check out Amazon or Ebay before ordering.  Many times they have pre-owned DVDs at a fraction of the cost of a new one.
1 comment
Read more

Sometimes We Score, Sometimes We Block

Our family is in the midst of little league soccer season. My youngest son is playing and his enthusiasm is contagious. He is pretty good at the sport, but what makes it so great is that he loves it! He counts the days until the next game or practice. He loves his coach and teammates. He has moved up an age level this year and the players are working more like team, passing to each other and watching out for each other during play. During the last game, my son scored two goals, they were the only goals of the game. In today's game the team scored eight goals. My son came up afterwards to me and said, "I didn't score today, but I blocked". What a powerful truth those words can hold. In life, sometimes we score, sometimes we block. Sometimes we do great things, we excel, we achieve, we meet our goal - we score! There are also times we see the needs of others, sometimes they are sad or hurting, we block their hits. We look out for them so they can score. We...
17 comments
Read more

Word Filled Wednesday – Act Justly

He has shown you, O man, what is good;       And what does the LORD require of you                But to do justly, To love mercy,       And to walk humbly with your God?    Micah 6:8 Sometimes we struggle so hard with the question “What does God want us to do and be?”  This verse is a simple yet powerful reminder of some simple things that God requires of us.  Act and do justly, love mercy and walk humbly before God.  There are numerous opportunities each day to do justly, to do the right thing or to make the right choice.  We love mercy when we show kindness or mercy oftentimes to those who do not deserve it.  Walking humbly before God is acknowledging He alone is God.  He is the I AM – no one else is.  When we give Him the glory He is worthy of, it will humble our heart before Him....
13 comments
Read more