Monday, November 17, 2008

At the Well - Standing For Your Marriage

Today At the Well is being hosted at Joyfully Living For His Glory. The topic for the day is Standing For Your Marriage. Some discussion starter questions are:

What does commitment in marriage mean?

What kind of wife are we called to be to our husbands?

What are ways that we can Biblically stand for our marriage?

Chelsey opened this subject with a fantastic post about some of the difficulties marriages face, she brought out a lot of serious situations. that many marriages face She gave some excellent advice and encouragement for difficult marriages.

I wasn't sure how to post on this subject, as I have been blessed not to have faced these serious situations in my marriage. While no marriage is perfect, I consider myself blessed beyond measure to have the husband God gave to me.
But I want to share briefly about my parent's marriage which has impacted my marriage and the answers to the above questions.
As a young child, it seemed my family was perfect. I was loved and secure with two parents who loved each other. We went to church faithfully, my father owned a successful business and we were financially doing well. My father was a very intelligent man who liked to experience many things in order to stay sharp. He was always learning new things, meeting new people etc., to enhance his life experiences. He learned how to play backgammon and excelled at the game so much he started going to championships and meeting many new people. Through this channel, he was introduced to drugs. This new experience cost my father and my family devastation. Our secure family was torn apart as infidelity, spouse abuse, financial devastation and the grips of addiction rocked our family to the core. My brother and I were removed from our home by family to escape this home environment. Our family was reunited, but never the same as the struggles of addiction never went away and ended up costing my father his life.

The reason I share this is the effect it has on my commitment to family. My husband is blessed to have been brought up in a loving, secure home and since I knew the devastation of a troubled marriage, we went into our marriage with the firm resolve that divorce was not an option. This takes commitment and the honoring of the marriage vows, in good and bad, sickness and health, forever.

As women we are called to be helpers to our husbands. We are not designed to compete with them for the top position or to shine above them, but rather to compliment or enhance them. To look out for their good and meet their needs. God's design is for man to lead the home, not with a harsh, overbearing manner, but with a strong, protective and loving stance. He is responsible to God for his leadership. God calls us women to love our husbands and care for them. It all boils down to teamwork. We are working together for one purpose, to glorify God in our family. Little things come into play such as how the husband goes to work to provide for the family, that is his duty and his wife makes sure he has everything he needs to do his task well. Clean clothes, good food and a home pleasant to come home to that is her duty and the result is a teamwork experience. It helps him to have these basic needs met, so he can meet the needs of the family. While many tasks seem mundane, being a helper to our husbands keeps a constant, steady flow of needs being met which in turn brings contentment, joy and peace to the home which flows into the lives of the family and those around us.

How to biblically stand for our marriage? Read and seek out what God says to wives. Memorize and meditate on what God wants our attitudes and our actions to be. When God's Word gets into our hearts, it will come out through our words and actions and will bless our husbands. Proverbs is an excellent place to start reading and much is said about wives and their attitudes. Many excellent Scriptures are shared today in other posts At the Well.

The beauty of obedience to God is the rich blessings He gives back to us. May your home and marriage be blessed by Him.


  1. I love teaching via narrative. That was beautiful.

  2. Wow, what a heartbreaking experience for your family! I'm glad that God has brought good things from that experience as you've learned to trust Him through it all.

  3. Thanks for being open and sharing that part of your testimony. Great insights as a result.

  4. Thank you for sharing so honestly about the devastating affects of drugs. What a blessing, though, for you to show how God redeemed your past and set your feet on solid ground. Loved what you said about marriage being teamwork, because it is!

  5. Awesome post! I'm so sorry your home was ripped apart in your early years and so thankful you and your husband have made a firm commitment to keep yours intact. Great teaching and inspiration found here through your wisdom. Love it!

  6. What a wonderful post! I, too, grew up in turmoil and the breaking up of our family. At the age of 12 I vowed to never allow divorce in my own marriage, and that decision kept our marriage together later on. Sometimes God allows these things in our lives to bring us to those kinds of decisions and behavior. Thank you for sharing.

  7. Thank you for sharing from your heart. Even though your experience with your parents marriage was devastating - Praise God - that He took something bad and turned good out of it. Your views of what a godly marriage should be is founded on Gods Word and not on man's word. -Blessings, Laurie

  8. Teamwork. That sums up so very much within a marriage!

  9. Amen! Thank you for sharing and being honest with us today! It is great to see people want to stay committed these days!

  10. Thank you for sharing! It was very inspirational.

    I have an award for you on my blog if you'd like to take a look!


  11. Joyful, thank you for your sweet comment on my blog. Learning to keep the home truly is a journey, I agree. We certainly aren't born with that knowledge!

  12. Thank you for sharing this. We have to be on guard, even the most inocent activity can lead us down a road we never thought we would take.

    I've been learning how to love my husband through the Love Dare. It was very heart opening to me.


Thank you for sharing your commment. It is a joy and blessing to hear from you and your words are appreciated.