Monday, February 23, 2009

Gathering At the Well

The discussion At the Well today centers on "Transformation to "Motherly."
The discussion questions for today's topic are:

Are there areas of hardness and coldness in my life? What are the roots of these?

Do I need to release someone who has hurt me in my past?

Do I need to confess and release myself from the bondage of sinful patterns in my own life?

What are some ways that I can turn the conversation around when other women begin to gripe and complain about their children?

Name some creative ways we can create warmer, more inviting environments for our

This promises to be an interesting topic! Most women are natural nurturers. There is a part of a woman that wants to take care of things, to help others, to show love and affection to others. When a woman becomes a mother these natural tendencies come to fulfillment, but there could be areas that mothers can struggle with. Motherhood is hard! It is not always meeting the needs with a hug and a kiss. Discipline, training, reactions to negative behavior and putting the needs of others before our needs and desires can be some tough issues.

Coldness and hardness is the first discussion topic! Does anyone want to admit that they are not warm and kind at all times? Of course not, but if these are issues, the only way to deal with them is to move through them. In my childhood, I did not receive much affection. My parents loved me, but we were not an affectionate family. Through the years I have come to understand that people need affection. In the early years of marriage, my lack of affection portrayed coldness. I began to work on this issue. The Lord truly has a sense of humor, as my youngest son thrives on affection. While going about our day, several times a day he will stop me and say "Can you hug me?", What a great reminder of his love language and a to stop and give him what he needs. Hardness is an issue as my personality sees things black or white- yes or no. It has taken me years to grasp that others don't have the same opinion or needs as my own. Seeking out the needs and wants of others is a sure way to "warm up".

Confession and release are breakthrough tools. If we harbor unforgiveness, it hurts us much more than the person who wronged us. Sinful patterns can be reversed by admitting the sin to God and turning away from the sin, moving in a different direction. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9. In Psalms 51 which is David's plea for forgiveness, he added "create a right spirit within me." Confession is the beginning of the new pattern. Daily walking in the right direction with God's help will renew our heart and minds. Life is moving forward, not looking back. Keeping our focus on where we are going and the new attitudes we seek move us out of bondage into the glorious path the Lord has for us.

When women gather, a sure topic to come up is our family. It is easy to fall prey to complain or speak negatively. Many times discussion centers around an issue and a solution or helpful advice is found in the company of others. If the conversation becomes negative that affects the opinion of the hearer, positive encouragement can steer the conversation around. A good rule of thumb is to never share what would be embarrassing for your child.

I am always on a look out for ways to make our home warmer and more inviting. Creativity is not my strong point though. The areas I am working on are greater acceptance of who my family is and less nagging, or criticism. Home should be the place where we are loved just as we are!

Truly motherhood is a journey and there is always room for learning and growing. May At the Well today be a tool in that journey to godly motherhood.


  1. Life is moving forward not looking back. Somes times this is hard to do...


  2. I so enjoyed reading your thoughts, thank you very much for sharing them. The key is to live in the Presence of God at all times.


  3. Yes, motherhood IS a journey. Oh, my.. but what a journey full of wonderful blessings, love, hugs and so much more!

  4. I loved your post! So right on target! Thanks for sharing At the Well today.

  5. "Sinful patterns can be reversed by admitting the sin to God and turning away from the sin, moving in a different direction."

    I couldn't help but think that this is true not only in our own personal lives, with our own sin, but also in light of sinful patterns that we may have "inherited" from the generations before us. Acknowledging the sin to God, choosing to turn away and then consciously moving in a different direction is such great advice for someone who is trying to make a change from the way they grew up.

  6. Yes, forums and then perhaps blogging has helped me see the needs of others and to warm up.


Thank you for sharing your commment. It is a joy and blessing to hear from you and your words are appreciated.