Monday, April 5, 2010

Marriage In Bloom

Spring has sprung and all around our area, plants are blooming, color is abounding, the weather is gorgeous and it a time of joy and beauty everywhere we look.  

Today is Marriage Monday over at Chrystalis.  Those who have been married for any length of time may be able to relate to the fact that the fresh blooms of newlywed bliss don't last forever. Marriage is a beautiful and sacred institition, but when real life enters and demands to be dealt with, sometimes we put our marriage on auto pilot.  There are things that we must attend to daily, the home, the laundry, the meals, the kids and often I tend to charge through the day in the "getting things done" mode, dragging  the kids and my husband along, often treating them like something on the 'to do list'.  Fed - check, clean clothes - check, hug, kiss - check.

That may work for a while, but our families and especially the husbands have deeper needs and deserve a little more attention. It may be easier to float along, but eventually, there is danger of losing our respect for our husbands and openng the door for negative emotions to enter.  When the thoughts of "we have to do everything around here" begins and a victim type mentality(which sneaks up on us), our minds tend to pick up quickly of the bad habits of our mates.  He never cooks, he doesn't help with dishes, he is always on the computer, etc.  When we begin to notice the negative traits (and we all have them!), and it becomes easier to pick them out more and more and soon, a pretty dowhill cycle can start. 

Sometimes in our marraige, it is spring cleaning time!  Time to clean the cobwebs which cloud our minds with doubt and negativity.  Time to focus on the positive traits with a thankful heart.  God has given us this man and He knows what is the best fit for us!  Sometimes it is time to re-connect, where we lose the distractions of day to day and take time out just to be with our man. 

Of course a date night where a leisurely time to be together is wonderful, often times there are ways to reconnect around the home. Sometimes a simple sit down on the swing together can begin a spot of joy and renewal to the marraige.  It all begins with the attitude in the heart.  When there is purpose to put the marriage first and tend diligently to it, it will bloom again!  If we can train ourselves to slow down and to listen closely to what he says (instead of rushing by with a load of laundry), or meet a special need or desire he has, whether it is as simple as a bowl of ice cream, or make the effort to think of what pleases him and follow through to do it ( a tidy house, being home when he is home etc.) those things will speak the loudest. 

Men want to be treasured and in turn will treasure the wife who unconditionaly loves and respects them.  A mature marriage becomes rich in wisdom and tradition and with a little tender loving care can again yield an abundance of frehsness and beaty. 

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. Provberbs 31:10-12

7 comments:

  1. Listening with the heart is so important, along with remembering that "never" and "always" are seldom proper descriptors.

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  2. A good word! This is perfect: Sometimes in our marriage, it is spring cleaning time! Time to clean the cobwebs which cloud our minds with doubt and negativity. Time to focus on the positive traits with a thankful heart. Spring cleaning in our marriage, truly is necessary!

    There does seem to be a change in everyone's attitude now that the better weather has arrived. I know e-Dad is bothered by the winter gloom, and sometimes I mistakenly take that personally. It's refreshing to clean out my attitudes and remember (and appreciate) the cheery, good-humored man that is really is!

    Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Joyfull. :~D

    ((Hugs)) e-Mom

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  3. Many years ago, Dave and I realized that our time as empty-nesters was approaching. We decided to invest more into our relationship than what we had been doing. Our youngest went to college last August and now it's just the 2 of us. We've never had that before since I was a single mother when we married.

    This time in our lives, this season in our marriage has been the best yet! It's been the reward for diligence and hard work. It is easy to get caught up in the mundane, the routine, the "have tos" of daily life. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and special but most of all respected. You're right sometimes we need to do a 180 and start deep cleaning our relationships. The enemy is so smug when we nitpick and focus on the negatives.
    Connie

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  4. Yes, I want a marriage in bloom and that takes work. Wonderful post.

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  5. Like e-mom, these are the lines I like best in your post:
    "Sometimes in our marriage, it is spring cleaning time! Time to clean the cobwebs which cloud our minds with doubt and negativity. Time to focus on the positive traits with a thankful heart." It's true that we are sometimes clouded with negative thoughts once we are overwhelmed but we need to be recharged so that we see our husband's positive traits again.
    Have a great weekend ahead! God bless.

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Thank you for sharing your commment. It is a joy and blessing to hear from you and your words are appreciated.