The weekly challenge from Completing Him is to make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask your husband to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. Things like this always make me squirm a little! But communication is so important and every now again we may need a reminder as to what is important to one another.
Several years ago I worked myself so hard tryng to please my husband. I kept the house spotless, kept up with the laundry, was always busy "doing" something for him. That was how I showed him that I loved him. But instead of being grateful for all that I was doing, he would become agitated that I wouldn't sit down and relax. How could I? I was too busy showing my love for him!!
Somehow I got a hold of the book "The Five Love Languages". This book does a wonderful job of showing how different people express love in different ways. Some people are verbal, expressing their love in words. Others may never speak their affection, yet they show it by the things they do. By leaning each other's love languages, you can learn to give and receive love more effectively.
It turns out that my love language is acts of service. If you want to get on my good side.. do the dishes for me!!! But my husbands feel loved what I simply spend quality time with him. Sitting quietly with him speaks volumes of love to him. It took some adapting, but the effort is worth while when his love tank is full and he is confident in feeling secure in my love.
So for the assignment this week I'll run some things by him and see what means the most to him. A little priority assessment is always a good thing! Marriage is all about give and take and taking in account the other's feelings. But unity and striving toward the same things bring a beauty into the marriage and the home.
GREAT thoughts on the love languages! Thanks for sharing that and for linking up!
ReplyDeleteMuch Love,
Courtney
Thanks for the kick. I think I'll try that. I, too, am the doer and he always wants me to just sit on the couch with him. Sounds like the Martha and Mary story doesn't it? And we know what Jesus told Martha.
ReplyDeleteSo great! Thank you for sharing. I love your blog!
ReplyDeleteI linked up too:
http://ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com/2010/07/are-you-running-yourself-ragged-trying.html
I always enjoy your posts, but today's kind of made me laugh. I, too, am an "acts of service" kind of gal ... married to a "QT" kind of guy. Sometimes it can drive me nuts! BUT ... when he realigned my priorities for the week ... I was so blessed ... WOW; what a selfless leader. Those QT guys can be so thoughtful :)
ReplyDeleteGreat idea - I think I'll give it a try..but, like you, these type of activities always make me "nervous"! :)
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteso - yes - looks like we're in the same boat - I figured out this love language thing too :) I even wrote about it in a previous (admire your husband) challenge. Good observation!
Enjoyed visiting your blog.
Be blessed!
I've heard of the book before, maybe I need to see if I can find it. Thanks for the tip
ReplyDeleteToo funny... I've made that same mistake. My husband doesn't appreciate acts of service very much either. Actually, he'd rather "DO" for me, and be thanked profusely.
ReplyDeleteAmazing things happen when we understand our spouses' unique love language!
I'm participating in this challenge too and I was a little surprised at my husband's list!
ReplyDelete