Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. It is frequently used for humourous or dramatic effect.  Here are a few cute examples:

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says IN AN EMERGENCY, NOTIFY: I put DOCTOR.

 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

 Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

 A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Have a great weekend!!