Over the Christmas holidays, my husband and I took our youngest son to the movies one afternoon. We had planned to grill a great dinner when we got home. My husband was going to grill the meat and I was doing the potatoes and salad. We arrived home and quickly jumped on our dinner tasks. I put the potatoes on to boil and then started on a short walk. Just to clarify, walking isn’t just exercise for me, it’s the “me time” of the day! It's a time to relax, settle my mind and enjoy the outdoors. Now I certainly don't mind company going with me, but I hardly ever miss an evening walk and try not to let too much interfere with it. My husband saw me going to walk and quickly asked, “Did you start the potatoes?” With confidence I answered “Yes.”
Now, this may not seem like a big deal, whether or not I put the potatoes on before I walked, but through the years of being married to a perfectionist, I’ve had to sharpen up a bit! This scenario may have played out differently a few years ago as I would have neglected what I needed to do in order to have “my time.” This would have set back dinner, caused disruption to an already full day, and added much stress to our home. But peace in the home is a priority for my husband and something to constantly work toward. As I grew in wisdom and in my role as wife, I noticed more and more that my husband is able to trust me. This is a very small example of trust, but one that showed me how valuable it is to have my husband’s trust in all areas.
Proverbs 31:11 tells us of the virtuous wife that “The heart of her husband safely trusts her.” Trust is a vital component of marriage. For a wife to have the heart of her husband trust her doesn’t just happen. It is through repeated actions that show respect, faithfulness and trustworthiness in decisions and actions. Trust is sharpened by trial and error and refined by the right choice over and over again. Trust grows when one becomes confident of the other’s response and decisions. There is no area too big or too small for trust.
Some areas a wife may examine to keep her husband’s heart may include:
- Her choice in dress – does she dress modesty in a fashion to bring honor to God? Is he confident that other men's eyes are not drawn to her dress?
- Her words – are her words ones that build up her husband, not share his faults with others? If he shares his deepest thoughts, fears, hopes etc., will they stay safely with her?
- Her reactions – does she carry herself with dignity in all situations? Compromising situations will occur from time to time - conflict, temptation, relationships - will she react with grace and honor regardless of the circumstance?
- Her Time Management – can he come home knowing she used her time wisely through the day? There will be days when absolutely nothing gets done around the house, but if there is a valid reason (not sitting on the couch or on the computer!), it will be easier for him to understand knowing things will get done when she is able.
When the husband knows that he can trust his wife in all areas, it is a beautiful thing. He is relaxed and confident and able to lead and provide for the family without the stress and confusion of a wondering mind. He becomes secure when she is eager to continue and grow in faithfulness and love. Such a wife is truly far above rubies and truly a crown to her husband. May we as wives seek to establish and nurture our husband’s trust in every area of our life. The investment is well worth it!