Sunday, July 17, 2011

Media and Our Marriage

In today's Media Monday series, the topic is "Media and Our Marriage".  This weekend my family attended a birthday dinner at a local restaurant.  Seated across from our table was a couple enjoying dinner together - no kids, just the adults.  As a mom and wife, I understand how rare 'date nights' can be.  Time alone for just mom and dad is important, but oftentimes circumstances hinder the time needed to go and enjoy an evening out.  The couple at the restaurant while waiting for their food, were both engrossed with their cell phones!  No conversation, no cherishing the time alone, just staring at a screen and enjoying the benefits of technology.

I've mentioned in my last Media Monday post that I love technology!  But it is limited to my home and  computer.  There are no smart phones in our family and my cell  phone plan is so outdated (and cheap!!), it charges me for each text sent or received.  As much as I love technology, I love face to face contact and communication even more.

How we embrace technology is influential in what part it takes in our lives.  Balance is essential.  My husband doesn't enjoy technology as much as I and uses the computer only for necessity - news, work and information.  Here are a few pros and cons which can have a media effect on our marriage:

Instant communication - while my husband is at work, it is rare for him to check in through the day.  If you are able to text, email or message your mate, it keeps communication going through the day.

Visibility - Little love messages keep romance visible and alive!

Planning - Through the day plans change and media sources can keep one another updated - to the minute if desired!

Staying connected - knowing little details about each other's day, brings close connection.

Time - My husband doesn't understand my love for computer time, therefore if all my free time is spent at the desk instead of with him, it causes some unpleasant feelings.

Too much information - posts, statuses and communication can become too open when it is so easy and convenient.  If perhaps he were to do something irritating, it would be too easy to 'share' instead of dealing with privately.

Who are we talking to? - Social media opens up the door for relationships and communication with many more people than we are used to communicating with.  It is vital for a married woman to speak with pure motives and guard her heart against temptation.

Marriage can be enhanced and blessed by using media and technology, but we also must be on guard for any lurking dangers or temptations.  Marriage is sacred and must constantly be guarded, evaluated and given our time, attention and effort.  We easily learn what works for our mate and what doesn't work as well.  Use discernment and above all wisdom in media choices.  What will be a blessing, take advantage of and use for the good.  What could lead to damages or sow discord must be eliminated.  May our actions be guided and based on God's Word always:  "She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."  Proverbs 31:12


  1. Love the verse you posted at the end...that is so important to keep in mind. That's the kind of wife I want to be.

  2. So wonderful that you lined out the pros and the cons! Love it!!

  3. that is sad, no time for each other but time for the rest of the world, how lonely they must be.
    Married 50 years we still sit and talk.

  4. Oh I remember as a waitress seeing husbands and wives reading the newspaper while they waited for their food and that irked me!!! Now instead of newpapers - it's cell phones!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  5. I've seen more couples sitting together engrossed in their individual cellphones than I care to count.

    Courtney - I do have to plead guilty on the newspapers at the table, though. My husband and I make a Sunday afternoon ritual of lounging in a local coffee shop and taking turns flipping through the Sunday Post and reading things we find interesting aloud.


  6. That is so sad. That alone time, date night, is so rare; and to spend it on phones?! Crazy sad. We've some to some compromises about technology and it has really helped. I think your key words were 'discernment' and 'wisdom' - absolutely necessary! Thank you!


Thank you for sharing your commment. It is a joy and blessing to hear from you and your words are appreciated.