At his birth, my heart gave birth to a fresh realization of God's faithfulness. Prior to my last son's birth, there had been three miscarriages. Each one brought it's share of heartache, loss and pain. After the third one, I felt in my spirit the Lord would bless us with another child, but that it would be His time and His way. Since I decided (for all the good that does!!!), there probably would not be any more children, we gave away all of our baby furnishings, clothes etc.
You can guess what happened years later right?? We found out we were expecting....truly in God's timing! Fear immediately gripped me of losing this baby. Physical symptoms of previous miscarriages appeared. My faith seemed to take a nose dive, but again, I heard the Lord speak into my heart that there was absolutely nothing I could do to save this baby. If it was to live, it would be God's will. Since there was nothing else to lean on, I clung to the Lord and His Word.
The entire pregnancy was filled with circumstances that continually kept my crying out to the Lord in prayer. Physical issues, financial issues and situations with the obstetrician kept coming up. The doctor lost privileges to deliver in our previously planned hospital and was working on receiving them at another hospital, but each office visit as we neared the end of the pregnancy was filled with secrecy and little information being shared. The morning I went into labor, we had to call the doctor's office for directions on where to go and who would be delivering the baby.
As we went where we were told and met the doctor we had never met who was to deliver, my labor monitors began going off. The baby's heartbeat had stopped. They got him regulated and again during the delivery, his heartbeat stopped and when he was born, the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. As those first agonizing moments of waiting for him to breathe passed and we knew he was going to be fine, God's whispers to my heart that there would be a baby and He was in control became true, clear and fulfilled.
I love to ponder the birth of my last born to remember that fear loses it's power when it met faith. To recount how my faith grew, how God loved me, encouraged me and walked with me through this time. What God speaks will come to pass. He is ultimately in control and no matter how much we fret or worry, His will is done. He is faithful and when we trust Him completely, we are secure in our ways.
Although we never choose hard times, that is when we grow when we walk with the Lord through them. Faithfulness and gratitude are some results that came from this time and some things I love to ponder as we rejoice each year in God's precious gift.