Marriage Monday - It's Not Just Talk

Today's Marriage Monday's topic is "Communication".  A pretty hot topic for marriage huh?  We all know men and women communicate differently and that it brings clarity and better understanding if we study these differences. Normally, women are known to be 'talkers'.  They love to share emotion, thoughts, desires and long for connection.  Men seem to like to talk less and are perfectly satisfied to receive only the point of the matter - the cold facts!

Here are a five quick differences:

1. Women’s brains are always “on.” There is more neural activity in the female brain at any given time than in the male brain.

2. Men just want the facts.  Men usually ask fewer questions to stimulate conversation in their work relationships and often end conversations more abruptly than women.

3. Women focus on friendship first. Women tend to build relationships when they sell. They don’t tend to go into a transaction focused on the final outcome but wanting to build rapport and learn more about others first.

4. Men take it one task at a time. Men  like to focus on one task at a time, whereas women’s brains are more geared to multitask.

5. Women remember the little details. Females can generally remember more physical and relational details than men.

But these differences are pretty general.  In our own marriages, our mate has his own style of communication.  Communications embraces more that 'talking'.  It encompasses listening, hearing and understanding what is meant, sometimes looking beyond the words to the feeling of the heart (purely a woman's point of view!!).  At my home, I've learned that a comment about something as simple as a chore (i.e. a cobweb in the corner) which means very little to me, means much more to my husband if he mentions it. It means that it is really bothering him.  Since he overlooks a lot in that area, when it is mentioned, I take action! 

How we individually look at and interpret things is another important aspect of communication.  My mind works in black and white.  It is what it is, if someone says something, I picture it in my mind and imagine myself there.  My husband explores deeply and thoughtfully over many things and verbalizes them.  Through the years, a major purchase or decision would be mentioned - perhaps a new car.  My mind was picturing the mentioned car in the driveway with me in the driver's seat.  My husband was simply thinking outloud about this car and analyzing the pros and cons...gas mileage, engine life etc!  This used to drive me crazy since major decisions would have my mind in and out of a dozen situations!  But I've learned to appreciate the value of not making rash decisions and allowing him to verbalize his thoughts and the freedom to think, ponder and talk things out.

Communication is a vital aspect in marriage.  It can bring joy and great blessing, or it can make many conversations miserable as we try to decipher what was said and how it was meant.  Good communication takes practice, kindness, self control and unselfish time!  But as we learn to better communicate with our mate, our hearts are joined closer together. 

The greatest tool in communication is prayer.  As we pray for our husbands and our selves, God's love flows from heart to heart and our minds are ready to extend His grace and love. There is no way to misread that!!  Will you join me this week in making greater communication a priority?  To pray more, listen more and talk less?  To listen deeply and prayerfully meet the needs that can be uncovered with God's wisdom and guidance.  It will be a step to make the home and husband have a great week!!