Wednesday, December 14, 2016

What is a Stable Home?

We've all heard the term 'a stable home'.  Even the term by itself sounds good, but great benefits come through stability, especially in a family. 

Some common definitions for the word stable include: 
  • "not likely to fall or give way, as a structure, support, foundation, etc.; firm; steady."
  • "able or likely to continue or last; firmly established; enduring or permanent:"
  • "steadfast; not wavering or changeable, as in character or purpose; dependable."

In a home environment, stable is more of a feeling than a procedure.  It probably look different for every family.  When families have a stable home life to go from and come home to, the challenges they have to meet out in the world are lessened and seem more manageable. 

Our family recently found what 'stable' means during a recent crisis.  My husband and I had spent all day at the hospital with our son who was injured in an accident. We were exhausted and only home for a few hours to sleep before going back the next morning. A sweet couple was blessing us by bringing dinner.  While we were waiting for them to arrive, we went to sit on the porch.  The familiar sights, sounds and feel of home surrounded us and filled our heart with peace.  Just being home for a few hours helped to ground us, renew us and equip us to keep moving.  In the midst of unstable circumstances, the stability of home was like an anchor in a churning sea. 

Parents create a stable home life by practicing the very ideals they want the kids to embody, such as kindness toward each other, self-control, respect for each other's feelings and opinions, spending time really listening to each other. Each of our homes has a different look and feel.  But a few common ideas can help us within our own families make our homes stable.

The foundation
Without question, the absolute most important aspect of a building is the foundation and it is true when it comes to building the home. Jesus is the foundation upon which you can build a life, a career, a business, but especially a home.

Communication, Trust, Fun

Flexibility  We all need a dose of grace and mercy. It is the injection  that you will be sensitive to each others' needs and the changes that take place in your lives. There are times when you need to be extremely close to each other, and other times when you need to give space. The wall of flexibility recognizes that each day you are somewhat a different person. The pressures of life change from day to day.

Structure and Routine
Consistency in our daily routines brings comfort to all of the family.  Bedtimes, mealtimes, chores etc. bring about calmness when we know what to expect.  This doesn't mean a strict, unrelenting schedule, but simply good habits of doing the same things at the same time that benefits the entire family.

Rules and Expectations
If you have children, there must be some boundaries.  These allow the children to know what is expected of them and offer opportunities to excel and grow in character. This training ground is foundational for the family's values.  

"And above all things, have fervent love one for another." Paul would tell us in the great love chapter, I Corinthians 13, that "love never fails." Overarching all of your life's experiences in relationships, challenges, dreams, and difficulties, "have fervent love one for another."

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