Hey Dad, I Think I Got it Now!

With Father's Day coming up quickly, our thoughts naturally turn to our fathers, it is extra special if you are a girl who have or had a dad that loved and supported her. 

My father is no longer with us, but he left a healthy dose of memories - along with instructions on how to use them! As a girl growing up, my father often spoke of his father who passed away before I was born. My father was greatly influenced by his father and his passing deeply affected him and he freely shared from his grief. He shared memories from his childhood and the love that was passed between them which was very special. 

My favorite memory of my father was when we were on vacation at the beach. The day was cloudless as Dad and I went into the ocean to swim and were standing with the waves gently washing over us. We were truly making memories and he wanted to make sure this one was planted deep into my heart. He spoke of his father and the pain he felt when he passed away. He shared how memories of his dad right after his death would bring tears to his eyes and pain to his heart. After time passed, those same memories began to be less painful and more meaningful. That day he shared with me at the beach, he was looking back with a joy that the memories brought to his heart. He told me when he passed away, the process of pain and grief I would feel would eventually change to something so special that days like we were experiencing would become a cherished part of my heart. Truly he was right. As I think back to that day, it no longer hurts, but brings joy to my heart.

As much as I loved my father, he lived a life that brought much pain to our family. Addiction took away the father I knew as a young girl. The choices he made in life came with a great cost. A business, friends, respect and his family were some of the devastating losses in his life. When moments of clarity came through for him, he still emphasized his love for me. I understood enough to know that even in the midst of this battle, I was always loved by my father. His lifestyle ended up costing him his life and now 30 years later, his advice that day on the ocean has come true. He impacted my life greatly because he wanted the best for me and no matter the circumstances, I knew he loved me. 

My dad died tragically 8 days before my wedding. I vividly remember on the way to our honeymoon we had to drive through the beach town my family vacationed in. Grief was too intense to even look out the window. During the drive, my eyes were on the floor along with those memories that brought tears. During that time, life was lived day by day, passing though stages of grief relying on the grace of God to make it through. Now, 30 years later, the picture of grace that God gave is abundantly clear. Looking back, God brought triumph out of tragedy. The world we live in will bring heartache, trials, grief and pain. Only God can comfort our hearts and walk us through the new normals of life. 

The man that married me 30 years ago this month is a father to our 3 sons.  And what a father he is! He daily sacrifices for our good, gives of himself for the betterment of others. He loves, encourages and pours into our sons and his greatest desire is to leave a legacy of godliness, integrity and wisdom to them. What a redeeming and gracious God we serve!  We recently spent some time at that same beach, where just as Dad said, my memories are not painful, but bring peace to my heart and a spirit of gratitude.

A true father's love cannot be stopped. It flows through hard times, crisis, grief and circumstances. Our Heavenly Father loves us with a love that is unconditional and will always be near us. Memories can  bring blessing and joy to hearts that remember loss and the theme of redeeming love will always ring in our hearts as we seek and trust God.

This Father's Day, may we remember our earthy fathers and their love as we also rejoice in the love of our Heavenly Father. His love supersedes all human love and desires great things for us.